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So apparently Britney Spears is being paid £195,000 a night to perform in Vegas, under tight restrictions. I went to see what all that was about. It was the first time I’d passed through a metal detector at a gig.

Here’s what stuck:

Britney opening on ‘work bitch’, undoubtedly a punk retort to her paymasters.

‘Tonight’s shows is called ‘piece of me’ because it’s literally a piece of me [sic]’ – this was her first un-mimed utterance

Set list in accordance with key, no b-sides

Rhinestone ‘Je suis Charlie’ jacket

Advert outside promises ‘over 20 hits’

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The bit where domestic abuse is portrayed through interpretive dance

3 minute costume changes, something I’m not used to witnessing during live performance

‘I get so wet every time I do that, it’s so awful’

The bit where she walks an ‘audience member’ like a dog and whips him frivolously

‘Lucky’ is a cry for help, the warning signs were there people.

Britney finishing on ‘Work Bitch (Reprise)’